Wedding, Albert's Shed

by Emmett Stapleton

STUART and LINDSAY are acquainted with our lead guitarist Emmettz, being almost as regular as he is in their local ale house in Timperley (They go in there every day….. He goes in twice a day…..) It therefore goes without saying or singing that, having played a showcase gig in the pub in question, we would end up playing their wedding.

The Do was at Albert’s Shed in Manchester’s trendy Castlefield district, so we Fraudsters decided to get set up and soundchecked early then do what every other Manchester band has done over the years – have our photo taken in and around the railway arches and canals of Castlefield. Another “acquaintance” of Prof. Metz, a photographer known as Mike, would be snapping and photoshopping our ugly mugs (and our ugly Burkes, and ugly Squires, and ugly Emmetts and ugly Richies……)

Prof. Metz was WELL into the idea of having a professional covers band photo shoot, but he was laying on the cheese a bit too thick for most people’s liking: “Let’s all wear white shirts and dark pants and shoes…. and carry our instruments…” (which Burkey scoffed at: “You try carrying a drum kit!”) …… “and have our hair cut the same….. and wear matching airline cabin crew outfits in some of the shots…” etc. Needless to say the photographer, when he saw us, exclaimed: “You lot look like a right bunch of %*&$s!!!!!”

Synchronised walking nailed, photoshoot over (careful not to interrupt the bride & groom’s likewise photoshoot) we took up residence in Duke’s 92 for a few pops while the speeches were delivered upstairs.

Accompanying us for the evening was Crossan’s mate Milton, officially as “roadie” but it was more like “totally out of place bloke” as he turned up in pumps, jeans and tee-shirt while all the guests were in there smartests. Plus he didn’t know anyone, and being the shy and retiring type, that wasn’t likely to change………
Amongst the guests were Hayley Cropper and Fizz Schmeichel from Coronation Street. Certain members of The Fraudsters had to be corrected whilst conversing with these two characters, whos’ REAL names are Julie and Jennie!!!

Being good friends meant that our Professor Setlistwriter Metz gave Stuart & Lindsay an extra special setlist containing THIRTY SIX SONGS! Our biggest ever by about 8 numbers! Favouritism indeed…….

As it is also getting closer to Christmas, Mr. Cross decided to get into the festive spirit by decorating his mic. stand with fairy lights. Well, I think it was in honour of Christmas….. (see pic)

We also had, post Fraudsters performance, a big long rave DJ section, as well as other disco classics. The party showed no sign of stopping, and not for the first time recently, we had to be asked to “slow things down” by venue management, much to the guests’ distaste!

At the end of the day (or should I say the beginning of the day ‘cos it was about 2am by the time we left) at the beginning of the day you can have no greater testimony than one from the Bride herself, who posted on our Facebook page:

“Just wanted to say how amazing you guys were on Saturday at our Wedding. Everyone at the do has said how much they loved the band and I think the busy dancefloor spoke for itself, you made our night extra special xx”

Davebass