A Very Public Gig The Fraudsters at The Brooklands Tap

by Emmett Stapleton

GLENN runs an excellent little live venue at The Brooklands Tap. It’s a suburban pub half way between Sale town centre and that annoying bollard in the pavement half way down Brooklands Rd – you know, the one that stops you mounting the pavement to squeeze past the cars turning right at the Belmore Hotel, so you have to wait ages while they wait for all the oncoming traffic before they can turn right and get out of your way so you can go straight on. Grrrrr……

Anyway, we’d been trying to get on at The Tap for many a moon, and it just so happened that on one Tuesday they had a cancellation for the forthcoming Friday. So, Glenn hotfoots it across the junction to The Brook pub where our mate DB is the landlord and he asks him “What’s that band I’ve heard on in here sometimes? You know, the one who’s singer you can hear doing your karaoke on a Sunday?”
“Aaah, that’ll be The Fraudsters and here is the phone number of their drummer Burkey” replied Mr. DB.

One phone call and four txt msgs later and we are the replacement act for this Friday!

With The Tap having a good reputation as a live venue on Friday nights, it gets a good smattering of regulars / music aficionados. We’ve seen a few bands in here ourselves on our nights off. Add to the regulars quite a few of our own fans (many of whom thought we were on at The Brook and went there first!) and you have quite the crowd.

Speaking of Fraudsters fans we have to mention Les and Denise who we haven’t seen for quite a while but it was lovely to see them at a Frauds gig again. Denise had her mate Denise with her too. We kicked the set off with Teenage Kicks then got straight into the Post Break Up Sex on Fire. Throughout the gig the audience Looked Good on The Dancefloor, especially one girl called Valerie – She Banged The Drums. Mr X kept asking her “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” but she had a Heart of Glass and was a bit of a Mardy Bum. Anyone who fell in love with her would’ve Fallen in Love With Someone They Shouldn’t’ve…..

At half time several people from The Brook turned up, including the landlord DB. He’d had to shut the place as it was dead – everyone was in The Tap! Loads of people had walked into The Brook and on finding The Fraudsters were on across the road they instantly turned round and walked out!

No hard feelings though – DB bought us a tray of beer and placed it on the stage as we launched into the second set… only for Geordie Dave to invade the stage and kick the feckin beers all over the place the imbecile.

So thanks to This Charming Man we had to play the rest of the gig standing in liquid. He thought he was Mr Brightside, but our Suspicious Minds knew he was from A Town Called Malice. Burkey said to him “You’re The only One I Know who’d do such a stupid thing, now, take your Cigarettes and Alcohol, and Learn to Fly right out that door. This is your Last Nite watching US!”

And with that we ended the gig with “Parklife” and “I Am The Resurrection” and Glenn booked us for three more gigs, so we must be doing something right!

Davebass